How to Condition Your Mind to Avoid Premature Ejaculation
In this training, you will learn why most guys actually train themselves to ejaculate very quickly when they masturbate, and how you can re-condition your mind to stay relaxed and in your body when it comes to sex.
You’ll also learn a simple technique to stimulate your brain to release good-feeling chemicals naturally.
You mentioned the part [in an earlier training] where the porn conditions our mind so that when we look at some parts of a woman we get too much sexual energy build up in a matter of seconds… how can we uncondition ourself for that ?
All it takes to recondition our mind is to practice being sexual in a different way.
The result of our sexual interaction with a woman is the result of all our sexual practice up until that point.
Most guys “practice” for sex with a woman by turning on porn and masturbating to it.
This kind of practice prepares us to release extremely quickly, lose our erection strength, and numb our sensation slowly over time.
Why do we habitually practice like this?
It has to do with our level of emotional safety and comfort during sex AND our unconscious beliefs about women and sex.
These unconscious beliefs and emotional states show up when get sexual with a woman.
Consider these questions:
“What do I, personally, believe about porn?”
“What do I, personally, believe about myself when I’m watching porn?”
I’ve found (both in myself and from the guys that I talk to) that most of us guys believe that society, and even a part of ourself, looks down on porn as something negative.
A part of us feels ashamed about watching porn yet another part of us craves it, so to resolve this internal conflict, we unconsciously block out the shame and judgment about porn by removing it from our awareness; we just go into a dream-like trance until we get our quick hit of pleasure.
We don’t want to admit that we’re sitting on our computer spanking it to porn, so we hide the very fact that we’re doing this from everyone we know…even ourself.
In the act of watching porn, we’re constantly looking over our shoulder, closing the window, closing doors, and making sure that no one sees us doing it.
We don’t want to get caught.
There’s a low level of anxiety running while we watch porn.
At the moment of orgasm, the brain enters into a very vulnerable state where it can be imprinted by anything happening in or around us.
When we watch porn, we sexually engage ourselves with a piece of metal with electricity flowing through it (ie, our computer), instead of having a relationship with a living-breathing-human-body.
We have a fantasy-relationship with images on the screen; with strangers.
We masturbate to lots of different women, which negatively reinforces the more primal and instinctual part of our brain while discounting the more human, caring, relationship part of our brain.
By watching porn, we train our brain to cycle through highs and lows of dopamine…
This negative cycle increases cravings, locks-in addictions, and deepens depression, while at the same time, lowers oxytocin (which helps sooth cravings, helps remove addiction, helps us feel peaceful and fulfilled).
By watching porn, we splinter ourselves apart from the inside, and get set up to be unconsciously dominated by our genetics and primal instincts.
Our instincts aren’t wrong or bad, they simply serve as our foundation until we can bring our conscious awareness into our body.
As men, our instincts want us to mate with as many women as possibly to spread our genetic seed; to take advantage of every sexual opportunity with a woman that we can.
Penetrate, ejaculate, and bounce.
In that dynamic, it’s more useful to go quicker; to ejaculate quickly and then run because, as cavemen, we faced many dangers associated with sexual opportunities…other men might attack us such as the woman’s mate, father, or bother.
It’s much safer, from a primal perspective, to get in and get out as fast as possible.
On the other hand, as we bring conscious awareness into our sexual behavior, we use sex as a means of giving our gifts to women instead of being fixated on passing on our genes.
We invest our energy in companionship with another person.
This doesn’t mean we necessarily focus on a long-term relationship (since we’d be in our mind thinking about the future), but rather, we focus on experiencing the immediate now-moment (fully in our body).
This approach creates a more fulfilling brain chemistry where we enjoy the process (rather than just getting to the end goal).
Lasting longer is about enjoying every moment, not just trying to get to the orgasm as fast as possible.
Through this, enjoying sex becomes more of a priority and our physiology responds accordingly by allowing us to go longer; we don’t just hit it and quit it and leave.
We enjoy it and go deeper into the experience.
This is why I suspect one-night-stands have a higher incidence of premature ejaculation, simply because there usually isn’t as much of the bonding behavior that promotes longevity and emotional comfort.
Bonding behaviors (such as holding hands, cuddling, synchronized breathing, etc) creates a brain chemistry that reduces cravings and addictions, removes anxiety, and allows us to last longer.
How do we stimulate that dynamic?
How do we practice this new way of being with our sexuality, being with our lover, and being with ourself?
If you have a girlfriend you can practice boding behaviors (check the resources section at the end of the chapter) such as cuddling, touching, and kissing that are not necessarily driven towards sex but more for the purpose of enjoying each other’s company.
Bonding behaviors rewire our brain and nervous system for better sex.
To learn a specific bonding behaviors that increase your sexual stamina and performance, check out Sexual Mind Mastery: How to Condition Your Mind to Attract Women, Initiate Sex, & Perform in the Bedroom with Maximum Confidence, Power, & Stamina
When you feel like sexually pleasuring yourself, use it as an opportunity to improve your sexual stamina and condition your mind for longer sex.
Step 2: Gently stroke your penis with one hand (be sure to handle the whole shaft and not just the top)
Step 3: Place your other hand on your heart and speak aloud statements that improve your EMOTIONAL comfort during sex.
“I’m willing to give love to women through sex”
“It’s safe for me to have sex”
“I’m having a sexual experience and I’m okay”
“I can relax and enjoy sex”
“I give myself permission to enjoy sex”
“I enjoy every feeling and sensation during sex”
“I don’t need to ejaculate to enjoy myself…but it’s okay if I do”
“Sex is a natural and healthy part of life”
“I enjoy having sex with women”
“I am one sexy-ass man”
“I love you”
Sexual Stamina Tips:
1) Keep your breathing slow and rhythmic.
2) Flex your PC muscles throughout this experience (the muscles located between your anus and scrotum; the same one that you hold when you stop yourself from peeing). You can even gently massage this area with your fingers.
3) Avoid overstimulating the tip of your penis since that can create too much excitement leading to quick release. Instead, make sure to spread out the stimulating over your whole penis.
4) Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth for better energy circulation (especially important when you move on to more advanced sexual practices).
Each time we practice this type of sexual conditioning we embody a new sexual confidence; literally a new and more healthy brain chemistry.
We train our body to become sexually stronger; to become better prepared for long, deep, intimate sexual experiences.
We must recondition our mind and recondition our body.
It does takes time since we’re re-wiring all the neuro-networks that our brain and nervous system created during our past masturbating-to-porn sessions (which could number in the thousands).
Be easy on yourself as you are making the transition.
This process if very powerful, so you can make dramatic progress very rapidly as long as you practice consistently.
The entire sexual process becomes fulfilling, which allows you more control over every aspect of sex; from attracting women to initiating sex to having deeply satisfying sex.